This is preciously why I joined this community, so that I could have access to many different "teachers" rather then just one. Especially considering sometimes I'm not sure what to believe of what I'm told about wicca. I'm still learning, and now I'm questioning if Wicca is the path I'm following, or if I fall under something else???
Someone please help, I'm confused, and I have too many path's surrounding me. I'm not sure which way to follow. My Husband is an Odinist and follows the old Norse traditions, One friend is a wiccan, and still another friend calls himself an elementalist. I have all three of them "teaching me." I tend to understand and relate most to my elementalist friend, who has told me he doesn't see me as a "wiccan," but rather as a "shaman."
So what am I suppose to be studying??? My husband tells me that it's a good idea to study many different paths to find out which I relate to the most. Yet, at the same time, that tends to confuse me, because of the following:
For Samhain (Did I spell that right?? I'm sorry if I didn't, I'm being lazy about looking it up right now so I don't forget my train of thought.) my Elementalist friend bought me a deck of Tarot cards. It is a deck that I found at Barns and Nobels at the beginning of October and could hardly walk out of the store without it. It is called The Manga Tarot Deck
, and I wanted it because I love the art!
Okay....and I couldn't keep from trying my first reading, which resulted as follows: ( Will my daughter's father bother to come visit her this SaturdayCollapse )
I originally posted those results to my journal, and my Wiccan friend replied telling me that we (as wiccans) aren't suppose to do our own readings (she had asked me to do a reading for her regarding her own court hearing), but that this one was okay because I was doing the reading for my daughter.
Okay.....so I have since been pondering this, and I'm not questioning if the Wiccan path is for me or not??
So I understand the reasons why a Wiccan isn't suppose to do their own readings... I had that explained to me by my Elementalist friend... but my thoughts on the subject are that the Tarot don't predict the future. They tell you what could happen if you chose a certain path. It is my belief that the future is not set and it changes based on the decisions we make today and the road we decide to follow (my favorite poem is "The Road Not Taken"
), and so, to me, reading the Tarot is for guidance. A way to help you decide which path to follow.
So, that being said.... What am I?? My Elementalist friend has the same thoughts, and thus is why he said he sees me as more of a Shaman then a Wiccan. Either which way, I'm still Pagan, I'm just confused as to my path. I use to study "shamanism" in High School...but I never got in dept with it, and I'm not sure if I should keep reading "Bucklands complete book of Witchcrafdt"
. or not. Why keep studying Witchcraft if I'm not meant to be Wiccan? Oh, I understand it's good to know about different paths, but I can go back to it when I'm less confused. Shouldn't I be studying the path that is right for me first?
I mean, I believe in Mother Earth and in "A creator" Whether the Creator is the same as Mother Earth or different, I don't know yet. I love nature and can relate to the Earth Magick of Wicca, but I know that my totem is the Wolf. Do Wiccan's have "totems" or is that a Shamanistic thing? I love hiking, and when I'm in nature, it speaks to me. The Wind gives me advice and I take my "energy" from the wind. I love the Symbolism of the pentacle as "Earth, Air, Fire, Water, and Spirit," and have even bought a Pentacle ring that I now wear. I also wear a necklace made of of Runes to symbolize "Strength of Self."
I'm sorry for the rant. I guess I'm just looking for a little guidance somewhere, aside from my husband and Elementalist and Wiccan friend.
Any help is greatly appreciated and I thank you so much.